Children are adorable and innocent little things who can light up your mood by just being around. But sometimes they end up striking the wrong cords in you and can make you want to scream at the top of your lungs.
Parents often tend to use fear as a tool to control their kids. Screaming or yelling at your kids can often come as a natural reaction, especially when you are completely overwhelmed. Losing your cool at such times can push you to punish your little one even physically, which is never good.
Even though yelling can seem to solve the problem effectively at that time, it can have serious consequences on your child’s mental health.
A parent is a child’s whole world. For them, you are not just an individual who provides for his basic necessities – food, clothes, and shelter, but the only person they can trust blindly to run to whenever something scares them. But when you teach them to be afraid of you by yelling, that trust gets broken.
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If every time your child makes a mistake you just scream and shout thinking they won’t repeat that mistake, you are only encouraging them indirectly to hide and lie about their mistakes in the future. It is very normal for your little one to make mistakes and be a little rebel, as that’s just a part of their learning curve. Instead, help them see and understand the mistake by discussing why it is wrong.
How would you feel to be around someone who constantly keeps nagging and criticizing? Annoyed, isn’t it? The same thing happens to your child when you keep yelling. Your little one gets immune to your scolding and only act like they are listening to you while mentally they are probably ignoring what you’re saying. The communication remains one-sided and your message never gets delivered.
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Constant yelling and punishing your child can seriously affect his/her self-esteem. Your child cannot think too complex and believe what they hear or see in front of them. He may start doubting his own abilities to do things correctly which can lead to him feeling inferior to you or anyone around him.
No matter how young, your little one also feels shame and guilt when you yell at him in front of others. He will probably take that embarrassment to heart and keep thinking about it for longer than you can expect.
Have you been wondering why your child repeatedly chose to ignore or not listen when you ask him to do any chore, but reply immediately when you ask him if he wants chocolate? As obvious as it seems, they are ignoring your command on purpose.
It might be because it has indeed become their habit to wait until you start shouting and only then do what you ask them to do. You can stop this habit from forming in your children. Instead of yelling at them or ordering them to do something, tell them how much of a help they’d be doing by finishing that particular chore. This makes them feel valued and helpful.
Parents are undoubtedly the first teachers of the child’s life. Your child learns a lot especially in their initial years by watching and mirroring you. The way you behave with them teaches them to reflect the same behaviour with others. Thereby, you are only teaching your little one to be aggressive as you continue to scream or yell at him. Do not be alarmed if you see him react the same way with you or anyone else when he is angry.
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