Women are strong beings who are simply created that way, with abilities to superbly multitask and manage. That is why we often ourselves do not realize how the habit of multitasking creates a pathway for others to take us for granted and without realizing overlook our need to be helped as well. This is my story of what my husband did.
While this is a story of my life, I feel it will resonate with many modern-day women out there. And hence, this story does not get just one face to associate with, but many faces of countless women who could be telling you this story today as their own.
When my husband and I met for the first time, it was in a cafeteria of our swanky corporate office. I was part of the HR team and he had only just joined the company. It was a mixed up food order that got us talking and before we knew it, we exchanged numbers and were talking to each other every night.
The one thing that we admired about each other was our ambition. Within a few months of starting as a trainee, he was leading projects and I worked my way up to become the HR Supervisor. It was then that we decided that we were settled enough to tie the knot.
Ours was a wonderful marriage. I always dreamed that we would both become this “power couple” taking the corporate world by storm. But, 2 years into our marriage everything changed. Well, at least it did for me. We were about to have a baby. Of course, I was over the moon. I had always wanted to be a mom. And I knew I would be one of those moms who could balance it all and manage it all. But a difficult pregnancy and an even harder delivery proved me wrong. I just found myself exhausted all the time.
With both our parents and most of our relatives in our hometown, we did not have anyone who could help us out either. Therefore, I had to make the ultimate sacrifice. I resigned from my job. The day I did that, I was shattered. However, I knew that it was right for my baby and just got over it.
However, there was always something that bothered me. Why was I the one who had to quit? How come my husband gets to work towards his corporate dream? “That’s just the way it is”. That is what everyone told me. But with these questions came this strange feeling of distance between the two of us. I was possibly just jealous. But it did not matter. He was an amazing father. And that is all that mattered.
Soon, we were ready to welcome our second baby. By now, I had learnt to manage the baby, the household and even the demands of my husband. And luckily, this was an easy pregnancy. It was even better because before the second baby arrived, the older one was ready for preschool. This meant that I did not have to watch a toddler and a baby all the time.
Then, came an opportunity. A friend opened a startup and needed someone who could come on board as an HR consultant. I had the luxury of working from home as well. It was the perfect opportunity. This was a mutual friend of my husband and I. She was the ideal woman. She balanced work, kids and everything so perfectly. How I wished I could be her. We were invited to her house for dinner to discuss the job.
We arrived at her place, my husband and I. As we ate I had to ask her how she was able to manage it all. “Well, I have the perfect partner to help me with it”, she said. Then she went to tell us how her husband managed the kids on days that she had to work. “We just plan the week and when I am busy, he is all up for fixing the kids’ lunches, dropping them and picking them up from school, doing the chores around the house and even fixing dinner before I get back from work.” She went on to say. “Thank goodness, he isn’t one of those husbands who doesn’t just play with the kids for a few hours every evening and then just sits and watches the news till bedtime.” We laughed and got on with dinner.
I noticed something. My husband was incredibly quiet all evening. We got home, relieved our lovely neighbor from her baby-sitting duties, and were just about to turn in for the night. Just when I was about to turn the lights out, I remembered that I had a load of laundry to do. As I was about to go down, my husband said, “Don’t worry. I’ve done the laundry. Did that while you were putting the little one to bed.”
I could not believe it. There was someone who would not even make himself a cup of tea when he got home from work. And, now he was doing laundry. He saw the puzzled look on my face and said, “Well, I should be an equal partner, too, right? You should take that job, it is good for you. And, I will do everything I can to make things easier for you. Something I should have done a long time ago.”
Now, I am back to work. My husband and I take an hour before bed to plan the next day. All the chores and all the kid’s stuff is divided between us. And, we are working our way on the professional front.
Also read: The Day My Life Changed – Mom’s Story
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